Life as I see it

I want to write something honestly normative. There’s a naïve aspect of writing that isn’t super relevant to everyone. The type of writing that makes money is niche related. Even Sylvia Plath’s work is a niche of depression and doomed creativity, even if that wasn’t her intent, it was her marketing niche. I need something to write about that’s just mine. I don’t have to be 2-dimensional while doing it either. Since my lessons are public, I don’t have anything to fear in that department. I’ve always felt something out of place in some manner. But not me as much. And it’s not a doomed sort of melancholy either. I have an optimistic strength about me. When I felt abused as a child I went to hang out with friends as a reprieve from all the pain I was feeling, but when I hung out I recognized that my friends had intense pain too. And so I kept my mouth shut and just enjoyed people’s company and just played football, video games and played imagination stuff where we all looked forward to a better future. We played things like High School where we imagined ourselves all grown up and strong like the cool kids. I’ve played other games too, but something about that style of play conditioned me to view most religions as superstitious and self-absorbed because those lessons were clearly lacking in religions and churches I attended. Mostly people seemed to want to view that pain as a version of hell that only God could save them from. But I was different. I viewed that pain as just the burden of life and friendship and love made it worthwhile and an Island that allows me to see the world more clearly and made things make more sense. Since then my appreciation of spirituality has grown a bit, but my perspective still hasn’t changed. There is no heaven I can escape too unless I have friends to hang out with and a vision of my own. That’s the true paradox. Because no heaven is a heaven unless I determine my own fate within it. But no heaven is a heaven unless I can respect everyone with me as willing to be my friend. That’s why hierarchy isn’t a true heavenly virtue. Heirarchy is a micro virtue of specific applications and jobs within the world outside of heaven so that strangers can respect each other and just do work. This is my practical perspective honestly. Religion has always seem to have this all wrong.