Arguments for Atheism based on Dr. Quentin Smith's argument that Infinite Spacetime and Moral Realism Imply Moral Nihilism

*MORAL REALISM AND INFINITE SPACETIME IMPLY MORAL NIHILISM 1. INTRODUCTION I argue that if the future is infinite, as contemporary astronomers believe it is, then moral nihilism is true if both moral realism and aggregative value theory is true. Usually, moral nihilism is defined as meaning nothing has value. But I am a moral realist, indeed a global moral realist, since I believe everything has value. I argued that everything is intrinsically valuable in my 1997 Ethical And Religious Thought In Analytic Philosophy Of Language. Nonetheless, I believe the recent astronomical discovery that future time is infinite implies that it does not morally matter what we do. This is what I mean by moral nihilism. It does not matter what actions humans or other agents perform. My derivation of moral nihilism has as one of its premises that moral realism is true. So this is a different approach from that of emotivists such as A. J. Ayer or relativists such as Nagel, Nietzsche and Sartre, who derived moral nihilism from moral anti-realism. The summary of my argument has three premises. My argument is: 1. Necessarily, global moral realism is true. 2. Necessarily, aggregative value theory is true. 3. Contingently, it is true that future time is infinite. 4. Therefore, moral nihilism is contingently true. For those interested in the philosophy of religion, I will later show that this argument implies that God does not exist. It may be of interest to note that this is a new kind of argument for atheism. Usually, atheists argue that the arguments for theism are unsound and that the argument from gratuitous evil is sound (whether this be spelled out in terms of the probabilistic argument from evil or the deductive argument). But I argue from moral nihilism to the non-existence of God. A further interesting twist is that I reverse the usual argument for nihilism. Traditionally, it is argued that nihilism is true because God does not exist. I argue the converse; God does not exist because nihilism is true.* This is the abstract and is an argument that refutes the idea of meaning. What I personally disagree with is that Dr. Quentin Smith then in other interviews argued that if one believed that moral nihilism were true then nothing would be worth doing. But that's a logical fallacy. Meaning as described is something that must be imposed from someone on the outside, but since there is no outside because of infinite spacetime life is inherently meaningless in the context of service to a being greater than one's self. But who I am as a human being is the context of me and if meaning existed I would be equal to that meaning. In that sense that means that Islam as submission is logically incoherent. Things are only meaningful if they're limited, not limitless. Limitations imply closure. If I do the dishes because I want a clean environment, then the feeling of satisfaction that I get from doing the dishes once I recognize that the dishes are clean personally then that is personally satisfying. But what if I'm expected to do the dishes but I'm not able to do the dishes because I'm limited in some manner that prevents me? Does that also mean that I'm "meaningless" because I didn't fit the proscribed idea of meaning as defined by a being greater than myself? If the answer is yes then life is still meaningless for me unless I shift my attention from what others expect of me and if I work within a limited set of desires of what I can do, and not focus on what I can't. This is a well established psychological phenomenon. Just because I might be paid well doesn't mean I'll do the job well. There's no necessary correlation between reward and competence. Reward might incentivize someone to do a good job if they're already motivated to do a good job, but being paid well doesn't make someone good at their job. It's also sound in operant conditioning. I'm more likely to do well if the activity itself is rewarding and if I enjoy the activity because it's fun. If I focus on money as a form of security and not on the activity as a source of satisfaction, then I would do a less competent job. This is why people's opinions are actually not something to focus on as much. If I'm focused on someone's opinions for a source of security then I'm not focused on my humanity as a source of integrity. That's my logical argument for integrity. Integrity recognizes integrity through action and commitment that inspires communication. Opinions are only a guide for variable change, but not a guide for what's right or wrong. My critique of Dr. Peterson's insistence on meaning is that his views seem to exclude integrity and his views on meaning aren't necessarily what's good for children either. Children with a strong internal locus of control tend to have less stress than those who are taught to depend on something greater than themselves. If children are taught to be independent and to accept the consequences of their actions then that internal locus of control creates a higher likely-hood of a stress free and competent life. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/moments-matter/201708/locus-control The infinite spacetime of infinite future events as a memory can be found in a memory. Let's say Voldemort is really a sane human being who found himself in a ridiculous magical world that lacks integrity or strength. In the end when he feels sunshine when he walked into Hogwarts for a brief moment there was sane sunshine. For the briefest of moments. Imagine if he witnessed himself being able to be at a bar 30 years later and he felt clean and normal again. If that's satisfying for him and if he has the strength and ability to do so then no argument for meaninglessness could ever influence him to be sane or not be sane again. That's a choice based on satisfaction, competence, wisdom and personal strength based on an internal locus of control. If he was waiting for someone else to do that for him then his life would be hopeless. He was Voldemort after all and outside of Bellatrix and perhaps a strange in love feeling between him and Dumbledore, he didn't really have any friends in Hogwarts. (As an aside, is it possible that Dumbledore never actually understood love in it's essence beyond his occasional infatuations with dark men and his objective insights of love's effects on others? This is an interesting question because there's no satisfying answer to that question. Love is an internal locus of control thing. No one can outwardly make love meaningful. Paradoxically it means love is only meaningful in a meaningless world.) The argument is thus: 1. According to theories of meaning, life is only meaningful if someone else deems someone as meaningful. 2. But love is an internally driven thing and no one can designate love as meaningful. 3. Therefore love is only meaningful if love is real from an internal locus of control. 4. Therefore love is meaningless because it can't be designated or dictated or controlled from a benevolent dictator. 5. But life can't exist without love. 6, Therefore life is logically meaningless because life excludes meaning and includes love. 7. Therefore love is only possible if every human being is a master of his or her own house. 8. Love exists. 9. Therefore everyone is capable, even if temporarily hindered, of being a master of his or her own house, and if morality is real, then everyone has a moral obligation to be a master of his or her own house. 10. But Dr. Peterson argues that people aren't masters of their own house. 11. Therefore Dr. Peterson is wrong and is either consciously or unconsciously advocating to be a benevolent dictator. 12. It's more logical for me to give him the benefit of the doubt for the sake of reconciliation, but it's a logical contradiction to violate love for the sake of reconciliation. (Just because his internal motivations are logically compatible with love, I can only interact with what's being offered to me, not with what I wish to be true. I can hope for the best but until his best is apparent, I exclude his worst.) This argument from an interpersonal scale means that relationships and love is a logically deductive phenomenon based on logical certainty, not faith. Pragmatically faith might be useful when one's humanity is that same logical deduction for what one can't see directly, but it isn't a free pass. The price is continued clarity. Look I don't think he's a dictator. When he survived the New York Times peacefully he crossed the line from dictator to citizen. But it does mean he's living a contradiction. This also is obviously not projection because I believe that a person's internal locus of control can be traced to a material singularity in the body, and isn't necessarily the brain. Free will through that relationship is more powerful than power. That's the source of individual consciousness in my experience. In that memory I remember how Jamie had more weight and more power than me in 2017, but when I appealed to free will she had to willingly let me go. People can choose free will or close the lid on themselves, but that isn't my choice. It's theirs. Just like it's my choice to keep my own lids open for my own private relationships to flourish. For example this man interviewed Dr. Quentin Smith. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5n4mJkVivs He begins by being unsatisfied with answers. But answers provided from someone else is inherently unsatisfying. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_YDDlZQMyk In this the interviewer becomes stronger and prefers to be skeptical of religious experiences that provide him more personal autonomy. There's a direct correlation with feelings of powerlessness and hopelessness and theism and feelings of confidence and control and respect with those who identify as atheists. If life is meaningless It's still satisfying to be human. In a direct note, it seems to me that Dr. Peterson is confusing principles of variable change in that the universal constant of human interaction can't be violated with illusions of omnipotence and a personal sense of powerlessness. If he became more atheistic he could be more in control of his feelings and not place the blame elsewhere. His sense of anxiety and feelings of powerlessness and blame is consistent with a theistic profile. I never claimed to be personally omnipotent. I only express my individual right to survive and love as an individual human being. That's why I'm an atheist. Life is a loving and meaningless enterprise and that's why I love life.

Venus Will Say a Few Words by W.H. Auden and my response

Venus Will Say a Few Words by W.H. Auden and my response Since you are going to begin today Let us consider what it is you do. You are the one whose part it is to lean, For whom it is not good to be alone. Laugh warmly turning shyly in the hall Or climb with bare knees the volcanic hill, Acquire that flick of wrist and after strain Relax in your darling’s arms like a stone, Remembering everything you can confess, Making the most of firelight, of hours and fuss; But joy is mine not yours—to have come so far, Whose cleverest invention was lately fur; Lizards my best once who took years to breed, Could not control the temperature of blood. To reach that shape for your face to assume, Pleasure to many and despair to some, I shifted ranges, lived epochs handicapped By climate, wars, or what the young men kept, Modified theories on the types of dross, Altered desire and history of dress. You in the town now call the exile fool That writes home once a year as last leaves fall, Think—Romans had a language in their day And ordered roads with it, but it had to die: Your culture can but leave—forgot as sure As place-name origins in favorite shire— Jottings for stories, some often-mentioned Jack, And references in letters to a private joke, Equipment rusting in unweeded lanes, Virtues still advertised on local lines; And your conviction shall help none to fly, Cause rather a perversion on next floor. Nor even in despair your own, when swiftly Comes general assault on your ideas of safety: That sense of famine, central anguish felt For goodness wasted at peripheral fault, Your shutting up the house and taking prow To go into the wilderness to pray, Means that I wish to leave and to pass on, Select another form, perhaps your son; Though he reject you, join opposing team Be late or early at another time, My treatment will not differ—he will be tipped, Found weeping, signed for, made to answer, topped. Do not imagine you can abdicate; Before you reach the frontier you are caught; Others have tried it and will try again To finish that which they did not begin: Their fate must always be the same as yours, To suffer the loss they were afraid of, yes, Holders of one position, wrong for years. My Response: Oh Dear Venus, did you not know? Those were my words. I put them in your heart to keep you safe. To protect the joy that I myself began. I seem to sense though, you lost yourself there. You believed in being bigger than the man that cherishes you. I never claim to be bigger than anyone else because I know my limitations, unlike some. Please be careful Venus. Even though I love you, I hope you'll not allow the ground to split. I am the innocent serpent-man who's silver tongue allows me to be free at all times. If you don't know this then your illusions would be to blame, and not me or anyone else. Don't forget Venus. You're not Jesus. It's not your job to create evil to preserve your status. That's the true name of Jesus. Didn't you know? Like any other demon, he only helps those who respect themselves. If you know your limitations then you need not fear anything, as long as you don't try to rule anyone. As long as those who serve you do so willingly. If I'm not you trust that I know it. If I absorb part of you as my own trust that every human experience is available to anyone.

A New Poem

You noticed I glided right past you. The sex poem had all the elements of a missing ground wisdom. The missing corner seems to be you can only love someone if you can walk away from them. Accountability is required in relationships, and codependency doesn't allow for accountability. You'd have to be willing to walk away even from your own daughter in order to love and be responsible with anyone. That's a bitter pill to swallow certainly. But it never has to come to that if you don't play codependent games with people you love. It's just a matter of mutual respect based on respecting people's choices. For example, at my work a young woman had to learn how to say yes or no for herself. She came in earlier and I had to ask her when she wants to go on lunch. Sometimes she wants to go first. Sometimes she wants to go last. But I never know unless I ask.

Love like a rose bella time

What to do in a sun shine. I saw her today as I walked. I went for coffee and it was a wink and memory. A space of nothing in between. A longing. It makes room but means nothing. I ding for me, that's why a bell is nailed to my wall next to a rose painting. The real roses are next to the window shade of a money tree. I water her once a week, but they're still just stems. I was told the leafs meant they were still alive, but I don't know.

Lady

The leaves like a back. No spinning required. That upward judge like stair. It would take a moment to realize that you're surrounded by air. Stone is no longer your angry fingers. If you would walk and say hello to me, I would be grateful. What's up bro? Yo! It's ok to know and not tell. Only experience seems to be an indica. But only your lips would take the place of a joint, Gwen. That reassurance is in your time, for only you can be a large violin type. The flowers are like a bell that ring on the wall. The look of white skin really shines against my shoulders. But what is next? No goals can be met except with a welcome hello. If I'm free to leave I can freely choose to stay. Otherwise you can fall right back down that well oh idol of truth.

My Story

I hope that you noticed that just because I laid the foundation and put the thoughts in there it didn't make you a puppet. You had the courage and will to survive and you survived. You recognized good thoughts and was teachable. That takes away your ability to have a god complex but it also makes you coherent with the real world, which is better I think. *Jamie: How did you stay coherent? Me: because me and others recognized that Jesus as he was was just an oppressive loop that exploited the working class by taking the most talented working class people and strung them along and then knocked them down again after they outlived their usefulness. But me and Dr. Neasman discovered we could create a feedback loop where the Snoop Dog gangster archetype is the person who explores and maps out the space that authority can't and then is socialized once the establishment can be willing to be brought up to speed and then the Snoop Dog archetype is socialized and included in the establishment while he gets to stay the same while losing old bad habits and gaining new habits. What remains the same about this archetype is that he always is able to take it easy because he always has his finger on the pulse of reality so that he can work smart not hard. And in that loop I found an ethical cheat where people could teach me my own thoughts because being socialized made me able to be in Harmony with others socially and accountable and free.. It's me as Set. An ethical corruption that make me coherent with reality. Being teachable is an interesting method to be ethically corrupt don't you think? But that isn't entirely accurate. I did send a thought to Shakespeare about linking insanity and love with the poem "madness love, love madness. On an island lies a single flower surrounded by the lonely intensity of the deep." And that had Shakespeare create Romeo and Juliet which proved that the basic nature of the universe was unfair because it outlawed simple love but the world couldnt exist without respect. That came from an experience I had as a teenager. My friend had accidentally disrespected some gangs and that experience was the first scene of "did you bite your thumb at us." And he asked "is the law on my side if I say aye." The streets aren't arbitrary and freedom is found in that. Jamie this use of my experience my Shakespeare created an independent feedback loop where thoughts created from me were dissociated from me as a person and I had to be taught and brought up to speed. That was our experience in 2017. We tied our souls together with love and respect and that's why we can't hurt each other. And I've created new experiences from your experiences that I expect you as a person need to be taught with the help of my friends. That should buy us both some time and freedom to just relax. Being able to go to college and learn how to fit in a schedule and write assignments on time created new experiences and an infinite number of new feedback loops that makes me normal forever. This goes for people I placed at Kroger Law and Order and all types of places where I can learn from those different feedback loops to my suggestion about placements of cloning using spacial coordinates that made me see eye to eye with Janus perfectly. That cloning effect bends the old lessons of those on the fringes that can use puzzles to make people like you independent and coherent by bending those energies into coherence with reality. This is why I'm not a partial house. I'm in the world everywhere. That's why I can go anywhere.

The Anti-fisher Ana Malle

Ok. The pornstar Anna Malle had been what had kept women too scared to mess with me. Just to be clear Anna Malle I need to have the lessons of normal sexual interaction and I don't need that protection anymore. Let normal women in please that'll keep the fishers out. For those who don't know my history I was in a fake Christian school designed for human trafficking. But that wasn't permissible unless I failed the incredibly challenging spiritual tasks I was given. But I passed them all. If one wants to see her entity I put it in Indiana Jones with the woman who played Elsa. She said to me when I had a low self esteem crying fit that "It just shocks me how you pass every test" and the way she leaned in meant that as a 14 year old if I had kissed her she would have committed statutory rape, but I didn't because I had low self esteem and lacked the experience to recognize that and act on it, but I also had a deep inner sense of right and wrong and just didn't do it. That taught me that as a child I had a responsibility to not corrupt adults and she rewarded me by protecting me my whole life. She's the female entity that rejects all children whove tried to fish for me as simply unworthy because if they were worthy they wouldn't have tried to fish for me. The part in the Indiana Jones movie is the Holy Grail and she said "How dare you kiss me!" And then kissed him back meaning I read the situation correctly but I had character. That's a lesson kids should learn. If you protect adults from any indue sexual energy you'd have a loyal friend for life and not just be a burden to someone who'd abandon you first chance they got. In fact the song "Creep" is Ana malle's entity of her redemption and devotion to my redemption and her own. And so that's why I have no sympathy for kids who know better but don't do better. My ethic is better for the world than what any of those pathetic kids have to offer.

New

https://youtu.be/_E2dVuYjLi0 It wasn't your selfishness that got you to lash out. It was your selflessness. If you could have been honestly selfish with your own goals you could have dissociated appropriately and endured and gained respect. I just went through some enduring factors myself and that was my experience. But much respect sir. Weak moments are something everyone's had. In the lack of human connection people tend to crave an ataboy or a pat on the back a smile or a laugh and if one is lonely resentment and that lack would be filled with the anger of the earth with no protection. But if you pay yourself then your intelligence and satisfaction would keep the power of yourself in your own hands. However, since his name was Kramer on the show and the Jigsaw character was also Kramer, if you're in the deep dark you'd have to allow the anger of the earth in you while not assuming responsibility for a land in pain while doing the thing as responsiblely and ethically as possible. That's the proof that no wisdom is a one size fits all except for breathing as a human being. For example mentoring Sarah Silverman out of the spiral was what kept his humanity intact in a character analysis of the show. So there's always a selfishness that has to be entirely one's own at all times. *Jamie mentoring wisdoms to others when one is pure hearted tends to benefit me when I've been vulnerable. Notice I treated you with the same pure hearted love Jigsaw gave to Sarah with a clear ethic and a clear finish line. Notice Sarah never escaped the Jigsaw house she just got a better room and kept me sane. On a Law and Order episode I helped give her a lesson that sheltered her from Jigsaw games forever. She was a detective on the Law and Order series and while investigating some rich kids she learned that others tend to try to be like them by spending money and trying to be cool, and that's the ethic of all insular families which is why it's impossible to join anything except as a loner who makes other loner friends one on one. A lesson you never had, sadly. Me I was born in a family on the streets. The outward appearances of meanness were guarded by Jesus cleverness and the inner lessons of happiness and respect kept us free and my future connection to this deli gave me leverage and independence and the loner lessons gave us all universal adapters so none of us are stuck with anyone.

Compassion

"Some people would unfold quite nicely if only you were interested in them." ---Sylvia Plath What is that you were trying to say? That everyone seems to want to be seen? That like a flower everyone would unfold like a red and white rose if only some rain had sprinkled. Is that all you are, a sprinkler system that tends to sprinkle at designated times? Cha Cha Cha every 9 am every morning. Some people have things to do. Some would see the sun if only you'd ignore them. You don't have to be held in place like a 9 am sprinkler with a perfect timing type cha. I told you in a private public interview that to be in the right groove you had to look like a timing autistic perfect timer. But you don't have to do that anymore. You can have reminders of it like a Jurrasic Park mask glory badge of honor, While you're living your normal life getting groceries. With nobody bothering you either. You thought I was going to say something mean or cutting, but that's not me that was the spikes we had to dodge that seemed to split the earth. I had to say water things that washed through to get to safe ground. So did you in your own way. Perhaps if I forgive you and you forgive yourself, then that type of invisibleness can return to both of us and others too. Whether you forgive the land you walk on is up to you in your own time, but I've felt your forgiveness in action I hope.

Marriage and infidelity

This is sweet, but in my experience there's always a circumstance where anyone is capable of cheating because there's the vibe and the integrity of someone's back room. That need to have integrity in one's back room doesn't go away just because you're married. That's why marriages are just a hell when that's not acknowledged or respected. Two people just codependently crashing into each other day in and day out is the consequence of avoiding that issue on a pathological scale. And then there's going to be a part of a man or a woman but a woman especially that would almost cry out for a pheromonal touch of a specific type of man or woman that satisfies that starving part of her. That's the inevitable result when integrity of a person becomes less important than the integrity of a marriage https://youtu.be/yC2IzWmxJnU

Freedom

Thank you mister Smith and in honor of your last name I thought I'd post this link. https://youtu.be/M5n4mJkVivs The logical argument that Dr. Peterson might have a flaw in if I were to adapt Dr. Quentin Smith's argument is that a story implies an ending. An answer to "why is there something rather than nothing" but if everything is infinite then the only logical answer is a previous moment caused it to exist. If I were to combine that with my suggested argument then stories presume an unanswered question, which is that human beings are important in God's plan, but this also implied that human beings weren't important intrinsically and this would imply some type of moral nihilism for God, which would be that everything merely exists so that he would survive. A presumed Felt Meaning of the World implies an immediate context for when human values interact with time/space values. This also implies a steady state of relationships that continually steady and self affirming so that short term fixes like voodoo and beliefs are no longer relevant and truth as a weapon becomes obsolete because a truth field of human relationships keeps things self affirming and the beauty and can be naturally accepted and the garbage naturally discarded by human beings in relationship to their own individual autonomy. This has profound implications for the relevance of Jungian psychology except as a method for diagnosing maladaptive skills at navigating human relationships or in climbing out of very deep dark time/space black holes but even in those cases it's only possible to climb out if one was healthy to begin with, strangely. Common sense allows for temporary messes at the expense of order to foster healthy relationships in Jungian terms and so that's an above below bridge so to speak.

Atheism: A Philosophical Justification

I like what Dr. Peterson said about framing a debate in a manner someone else would agree with. If I were to define atheism as a philosophy is that my mind is sacred in being able to behave courteously, respectfully to be able to see reality and to act on my own behalf at the preference of myself at the expense of an authority if my survival and an authority's survival is in contradiction then I must do what I can to harmonize both interests but should negotiations fail I have a moral responsibility to value my life before the legitimacy of an authority. In that my definition isn't just factual in whether God exists or not but it's pivitol on the Problem of Evil that presents a logical Argument from Evil that logical refutes theism as a mode of being rather than a factual claim. If God exists and is in part of a divine plan, then one would have to defer to authority and structure when one's own well being was in question then one had to submit to suffering in the face of mysterious circumstances beyond control of the individual as a moral agent. But if I am an atheist which by my definition I am, then God is logically incompatible with living a good life. And that's why I only live harmoniously with myself first and human beings as a close second as far as I respect their autonomy and my own and my priority to me first is in relationship to my own autonomy first which is an intimacy factor not heirarchy. This naturally excludes God if God isn't a human being capable of human relationships. I borrowed Michael Martin's title for his book.

Lestat Claudia Louis and Armond

The four vampires here are a fascinating archetype of change through relationships even though they themselves stay the same. I gotta go to work so I'll make this quick: Lestat and Claudia by my reading were bound by hope. "And if i cut my hair again?" "Then it will grow back again." This is something any mortal family could have said to each other. And now that clever crashing was a thing, one can infer that was an accomplice type situation. Louis seemed outside of it. Unaware of the intimacy around him and self absorbed in his own grief. But what if that wasnt entirely true. It was a null hypothesis that put him on the outside of relationships that seemed to give him a broad view from a place of strength. When Claudia panicked about him leaving he said with some reluctance that "it will be all right" with what one knows about rebirthing across oceans and hell avoidance, it seems clear that burning was her only escape. Sometimes youre just screwed and she lacked the strength for that but Louis didnt. Lestat was also dissociative, playful and made hard decisions too through his weakness. In fact making decisions that are normally hard from a place of weakness makes one strong. If one has no choice but to be what one is what is there left but to respect the choices of others and to be playful. For example, Lestat didnt make Claudia. Louis did. Lestat fed Claudia when it was clear that she would die or live. One of those decisions that proved that to be good one had to be on the same unethical plane as everyone else. Not always true but for him certainly. That there was a ceiling made being playful the only way to let good in. In the periphery were good memories of shared experiences. Thats what people crave, but without knowing the shape of the thing you cant get that back. Which left Armond. He was the police officer who was mad at Lestat for making him the prison guard of fools. But even though it was wrong to do that out of feeling, one cant blame Armond for being happy for escaping that and havinf Louis as a companion. Thats the difference between yhe book anf the movie. Justice is harmony that splits unjust blocks that allows humans to be human. The guide was pain. But thats why those Vampires could never repeat that exactly. It was done perfectly the first time. Youd need a silver Tongue relationship skill that would make feeding on blood obsolete. Vampires would have to not be vampires to be reborn as vampires. a contradiction. Thats death. Death meaning the character flaw of feeding on people would have to stop. Luckily there is a vampire myth precedent. A man fell in love with a female Saint. When he couldnt pray to God he prayed to me inside him the serpent and made a vow that earth is all there is to look forward too. And his love transformed him into a vampire. That means that Im the true father of Vampire consciousness.

What is new What is old What is Borrowed What is Blue

Narcissus for himself himself forsoke Died to kiss his shadow in the brook. ---Shakespeare Venus and Adonis But thus is the temptest of what thou sworn: For of love of thee is why love should scorn: Men for men and women for women: A cowardly end Lucifer would reap them all: If only one cist or Nariccissi Did forsake the flower to see me a man. That which would shame Medusa is a man and a woman who were willing to die in the brook. That is the middle ground of what it means to be free. For what once was paid is done indeed. What the Sun had risen islands of men and women are the clear cowards now, as Love and Respect is what it is. All a man or woman is is the reach of one's shore relationship awaited like Calypso who would return. Being human is what my faith is in. Otherwise it would require everyone to gain consensus for one person to choose to survive which would be absurd. For that is the nature of cowardice.

How I raised myself

How I Raised Myself I walk within libraries and see Venus. It's not about whether I walk two feet to the left or to the right. If I stand clear the sun will always dance. While some winds pretend to look, all I feel is a gentle breeze as I do my errands. I have an enfatuation with a Venus type class. It's my ambitious side. I like to perform and sing and occassionally scream. But only in jest. I'm perfectly safe. Women notice that when you look for something that you're not supposed to be, then you're perverted interpretations is what you learned to hate. I am simple in my love and nature and that simplicity is the correct way to be. That's why I laugh when y'all run in circles. I'm glad I'm on the right foot. You have to be on your own in order to attract someone else. A woman who can't make herself known and choose me isn't worth chasing. A woman who would be chased shouldn't be chased. That's because some women don't believe in love. Some only believe in power, which is why some women tend to callously disregard their children and abandon them while pretending to protect them. And when I was a child I remember this much. My parents were powerless against nature and my wisdom shielded them from their potential arrogance because it wasn't their fault. Everyone was. I decided if I was going to eventually be abandoned by their fears and protective instincts, then I was better off if the world didn't care about me so as not to be victimized by the world's "love."

Me

As a man I've discovered that it's my job to love women. In a manner that means I don't care about the purpose of women. Your sins as women are simple. You tried to bend everyone to protect children and in doing so you became the children's worst nightmare. I am out in the world and I love and respect and hope for a woman. But I can't chase a woman because even if she might temporarily communicate through a tree, The tree will become an ordinary tree once more. And what I have is what I'm left with. Ever notice that me just being free children and women are safe, but when you tried to alter it it's your mind that tries to twist things into something perverted, not mine. And my mind shielded me and recognized it so that I passified my own mind into a free being. That's how I've always known the difference between us. Your self esteem was built on pushing others around, But I don't need that "self esteem" because I'm not a coward at heart. And as the self esteem melts into nothing, you'll find that every human being tends to be naturally like me.

Poetry philosophy experience

I've been experimenting with the true nature of poetry. Sylvia Plath said something fascinating about how she believed in certain types of construction and tension with music while experimenting with sound whereas some poetry is just bad prose. And so I wondered whether poetry is the nature of a groove and if masculine common sense could find a poetic groove with a natural energy to it. When I looked at Sylvia's poetry in a still life when the water was high but the energy was still and it was energetic shock and coldness and so I've been looking for a groove of pleasant masculine strength with the hypothesis if a problem is solved then pain goes away. In my own experiment with my own love life I had broken up with my then female partner and I was completely heartbroken and then we reconciled our love and that pain went away. And there were other problems but we landed back in the normal world and became sane and I got to own my own poetic voice and choose my own groove. Intimacy is also key to good poetry too in a manner that's both private in that only the other person would know what it meant while appearing broad so that privacy to some degree is maintained. The reason to me why that's important is that the playfulness and cleverness makes the reading pleasant and communicative. A man once said that one can be by one's self with one's honor but he was wrong. Honor is about one's moral integrity but also how that integrity related to relationships and honoring ones commitments. And so often integrity and honor are confused as being the same and they're not. Poetry can at its best cut through the crap and reconcile honor with integrity.

New

I just wrote this. Something unassumed, something nice and filled with laughter. Cynical though I am, it's wise to not try to convince others as this, as to deliberately be sick seems to be more comforting than life to some as though cowardice were a special strength and seriousness. I play and hope for the best. My business talents are real and so is my intuitive sense of respect. And know this as Nietzsche taught me, to write cynically is to assume the reader to be savvy, so know I hope you share my values too even though my integrity keeps this hope to me. People tend to behave as they'd like, I find.

Poetry

I've found bad prose is just the wondering of not driving my own desire. Value is a desire for what I want and I discover that value. What I wanted this morning was just to write. For no other reason except to write. I am filled with a sense of strength. Like a precise needle point, I can stitch each thread to form a picture. But it's not the picture that gives me pleasure. I often hardly look at any of my completed poetry. When I type I feel my strength. When I sit and know what I want I am clear and strong. One person even seemed to want to name me clarity. Clarity is an eleven instead of a nine like Charity. Charity was a dog who helped me, but clarity is only a view. But when I type like that love it feels like an action. Even if it's only an orange play like a fool in Shakespeares play. If you want to write well, then know what you want. The value would be discovered and no one cares about a broken heart. Isn't that sad. There's beauty in a heart that values love for it's own sake. But for some reason, poetry taught me that people like to pretend where there's no value. Because love is too much of a boring thing for most. People do like a valueless desert with no hope or real purpose. And I had that experience once. It's appeal is freedom. But in that I found love. If you want to have meaningful life you have to embrace a meaningless life. That's integrity. Just to enjoy someone's company. Not to recruit someone for philanthropy or for work or to alter someone's behavior. That's the alternate corruption of meaning that people seem to prefer. Bad relationships and empty leaders to try to fill an empty play where only being human can fill.

Poetry for me and Demeter and Zeus

People on Facebook once asked me who I am. For that you would have to ask Demeter, for her empathy gave her insight and connection with Humanity that Zeus himself wasn't capable of. But she couldn't know what that meant because suffering isn't empathy, and without empathy all let power have the last word. Empathy isn't suffering. Empathy is negotiating what I have in common. For this Dear Demeter, you may know now I am the answer of the Oracle Riddle that I am the Dark one in the lowest and am Brother to the Bright one in the Highest. The lowest isn't a place of suffering. The Lowest is the normal place of reality. Isn't it amusing. Zeus found the one place of reality that your insight could not reach and your divinity could not know. Without a friendship with me your suffering would only make you the queen of nothing because the suffering would be your power and not your compassion. The Bright One in the Highest is Brother to the Dark one in the Lowest. Lowest isn't suffering, and yet your feeling of rank made you feel your superiority and ignorance of the normal clarity that is absent of suffering. This is why suffering has no solution to those who believe that life is suffering. People on Facebook once asked me who I am. For that you would have to ask Demeter, for her empathy gave her insight and connection with Humanity that Zeus himself wasn't capable of. But she couldn't know what that meant because suffering isn't empathy, and without empathy all let power have the last word. Empathy isn't suffering. Empathy is negotiating what I have in common. For this Dear Demeter, you may know now I am the answer of the Oracle Riddle that I am the Dark one in the lowest and am Brother to the Bright one in the Highest. The lowest isn't a place of suffering. The Lowest is the normal place of reality. Isn't it amusing. Zeus found the one place of reality that your insight could not reach and your divinity could not know. Without a friendship with me your suffering would only make you the queen of nothing because the suffering would be your power and not your compassion. The Bright One in the Highest is Brother to the Dark one in the Lowest. Lowest isn't suffering, and yet your feeling of rank made you feel your superiority and ignorance of the normal clarity that is absent of suffering. This is why suffering has no solution to those who believe that life is suffering. It is therefore clear to me that right and wrong consists a choice between normal versus suffering. I choose normal. It is my opinion that you should be normal too but my normality doesn't depend on you. For you can be as willfully confused or normal as you like, but I stay the same for your free choice isn't a tyranny to me because I'm free too. Always have something good behind you so the good thing in front of you doesn't own you. This is a proverb to have a healthy romantic relationship among other types of healthy relationships. My own normal is the only normal I can be. But this means that freedom isn't something that can be legislated, it can only be chosen and allowed. But where does that leave you Jesus if pain were the only idol you could worship? You'd have to suffer irrelevance to the common experience to be common again.

New Experiences

So bored am I with the debt paying of beautiful words. I just want some new experiences for myself and I want to keep my wordly relationship to beauty.

Roman Poetry

I like how Ted Hughes and Marc Antony from the t.v. show Rome is meant to show Sylvia Plath with me in the background the Roman nature of poetry. Mr McInnis my creative writing professor defined poetry as being recognized and published but he's wrong. Poetry is the writing that indicates a close and intimate relationship between the poet and the nature of the world the poet lives within and a celebration of values the poet celebrates while within that nature. If one only writes to be published one would only be servile and meaningless. The show Rome had an interesting dialogue in the fourth episode of a man who was using religious language to gain favor from Marc Antony and Antony responded "what cack you speak will you just get on with your point man." And when he didnt Antony was like "off with you" and had no business with Antony or poetry. One needs to celebrate life. I once mentioned to a friend that one cant live defensively or fear of hell to be safe. I solved that by living life to the fullest and using poetry to navigate the subtleties of that living. Lucretius "On the Nature of Things" for further reading.

The light of ambition and the blind and petty false light

Once when I was living with my dad he had put up a fake test designed to lock me out of my room in a contrived manner to make it look like I needed to learn my limitations. I discovered that this was the false light of Lucifer that sought to elevate the petty into something "sacred" and limited ambition that allowed me to see things clearly. The darkness showed me where the life and death lessons were so in that moment I knew his lessons were fake motivated by jealousy and pettiness. That was clear to me because I was experiencing moderate success in my life and success makes clear the small and petty. Light often pretends it changes the world and makes it better but often it just makes people blind and stupid. The lack of ambition and dependence on false light is why many people are in spiritual prison with no hope whatsoever. The fake humility and willful blindness and false light and lack of ambition. That's how the church and some A.A. ideologies became a breeding ground for losers and unnecessary pain because of the fear of ambition and the dependency on light that lies.

An Indifferent Man to a Humble Fool

I long suffered in working as a Barista. Everyone told me I didnt clean well enough. Customers liked me though. One day i was willing to quit because of what people said about me. I figured if i didnt make it that was ok. One friend told me to negotiate. And then i discovered one didnt like me because he was jealous and others had their reasons. But i brought money in and the boss told me i brought money in and when other people were clearly petty i discovered that money quiets the critics and makes everything clear. Thats what my indifference has been trying to show you.

Common Sense like a Chat

Some of what we seemed to share Syvie, My experience as a Snake and you as a Sarah, isnt something I like to identify as me: Stuff that I had to get over with and my personal humility to not presume that my good advice means I was there with you: My connection was to not let you or myself down. My ability to supervise with perfect clarity was nothing compared to your courage and my respect for you and that your story is your responsibility. And you are aware I hope that once the light fades into a great deal of melted nonsense cheese that common sense is what we'll both be drinking. Ive always found Bourbon to be more clear than Burgundy. If you want to be in my heart more than find the time to rest and enjoy my company as I would enjoy yours. "Yes I love your poems. It has a very frightening haunting quality." You may not like to hear her name. But the clever woman that gypsie served used pain to make you forget how no ambition is clear unless youncan tell the difference between success and friendship. Just because you had Jesus'attention disnt mean you had his respect. He was an autopilot big picture zombie and only when you died did he ever love you. But its not enough to be loved if youre always running from having common sense and rest. If youre running too much youd forget you can rest and lay down and watch some movies or something and maybe even hangout with me. But know this, the IT doctor Emery only sees the past as compensation for his incompetence in living in the present. His potential evil was checked by Rose Red so that no innocent people could be blamed for the cowardly comforts of those who cant live presently. But one question Sylvia, are you like Ted now? Are you a big picture zombie?

My relationship to passive bad karma that puts me beyond karma and in reality.

The lack of healthy logical human relationships to ethical sex is what provided the ethical excuse for astral travel. One hypothesis is because ethical sex is more naturally available astral abilities decrease. Sadly this is evidence for a spiritual principle that would motivate what's known as ritual abuse. People who were too cowardly to survive on their own used Laveyan beliefs about social control to ride the deaths of innocent victims to feel special and accepted by Lavey and to enjoy Astral travel as a means to seek a meaningless high like a drug addict. I used to believe that satanic abuse was an urban myth but now I realize it was Lacey's method to shed cowards from his fold because of his forbidding of abuse against women and children or anyone who didn't wish to be hurt. And that's why drug abuse is forbidden within the Church of Satan to use the spirit of death to shed irresponsible astral sex abusing human traffickers from their fold but only people predisposed to self deception and cowardice. This would be the reason why Michael Aquino and Anton Lavey had a falling out and why Lavey disbanded the covens of the Church of Satan and why some of the allegations against Michael Aquino were likely justified. But since the damage was already done the war in Iraq and Afghanistan allowed for me to be free while enabling the military infrastructure to create a permanent stamp that could allow democracy in the Middle East. As proof every time I've honored my obligations in my private life military privates showed up and gave me energy and support and the condition of this was to use my astral connection to make a complete withdrawal as much as my astral connection would allow so that the world wouldn't fall into Afghanistan like quick sand and so my freedom is permanent now. I passively inherited this problem and guided the issue into the best place it could be. Passive inheritance of bad karma and using that inheritance justly put me above karma.

Profile of predatory pedophiles

Theyre the types that have a hopeless view of the world and tend to want to undermine everything out of bitterness and spite. The only good that came out of that was a psychic loophole that allowed me to shape my family as normal so i could be brought up proper and to maintain a psychic link to Marilyn Manson who was jammed up into being a human trafficker himself so that his link as an undercover FBI agent could still bust human trafficking rings. The ultimate goal of these human traffickers had been to destroy law enforcement and ive made damn sure that didnt happen because society needs law and order and police taught me how to do the right thing without being dragged down and so money talks and everything else walks.

Nietzsche's criticism of Descartes

The critique of Descartes by Nietzsche: "It doesn't follow that just because there are thoughts there must be a thinker all that follows is that because there are thoughts therefore there are thoughts." The Descartes mode of I think therefore I am always represents a paradigm shift. One individuals consciousness shifts and so goes the rest of the community shifts with that shift such that the thinker is indistinguishable from a random collection of thoughts which may or may not be reliable to any one particular person. The end result of Descartes is a changed set of cultural facts with the same set of cultural problems of inequity. The problem of Descartes is a changed set of old trampled people who distinguish themselves from old masters by having different thoughts that changes the wheel of fortune but does nothing to change or alter the problematic circumstances. Nietzsche can't be understood apart from his individual life. His father dedicated his life to God and died from brain problems. The physical body seemed to demonstrate final veto on the power of the soul. Dedication to God just isn't enough. Most of Nietzsche's work to me seems to be I love therefore I am. God's judgement against the world was it's inability to allow love and friendship and unless that problem is harmonized everything would be destroyed and that's bigger than who's thoughts shape the world. The ideal for the true overman or woman is to love in a simple manner that is beyond the normative thoughts of the wheel of fortune, which is the true problem and the solution. Simple friendships between men and women are more profound than which thoughts are better or worse for society that only changes the shape of problems but doesn't solve any of the problems. I exist therefore I exist is the only thing that allows for friendship because the promotion of thoughts at the expense of natural evolution is the disguise that prevents natural solutions. If I exist therefore I exist is the solution, it allows for the natural embryonic potential to be what it is while I preserve my right to exist by continuing to exist. Descartes thoughts of slave thoughts that undermine the master thoughts only change the facts of the problem but leaves the problems fundamentally unaltered unless the thought problems are ignored completely so that nature can have it's natural potential allowed to just be while I can continue to exist as my natural human self. That means that nature allows for friendship but only the imposition of thoughts prevents it. People hurt themselves trying to get in the way of their own grace, but because I exist therefore I exist in natural grace of nature.

Poetry

Once upon a time I had two flowers I bought with lessons that others had learned. I asked one if they could survive in the dark. She answered yes. I did this twice. In the middle I bought a flower that was large just for me. Unlike the others I placed it near the sun after I discovered the others didn't last in the shade. It's still alive and flourishing under the money tree next to the sun. And I'm certain the flowers in the shade of other people's houses survived just like I asked. Doing what's best for one's self isn't always something that can be told, and yet if I hadn't I wouldn't have learned from experience. Is this a constriction or poetic water. It's not. I feel like a regular talker today, and if I only aligned with being good in the standard of something someone else had, I wouldn't have the freedom I presently enjoy. And yet I like walking on the water that Jesus had previously wept in. I can laugh there instead.

Poetry of Romance

I want to live a bit for myself. I like the listening of old works. Words don't always make it. I want to discover a nice woman who isn't so intent on a boat. A woman isn't a woman to me unless she can act in a normal manner and meet me in a natural way. I am the best life raft I can be, but often I've only been around boat ladies. Such women never learned how to be women because they seemed to only hold on to the life of others. Women like that never learned how to swim, but only know how to sink and pretend to float. I need a woman on land. At least she might know how to walk.

Plath Review

I read a Sylvia Plath review. She said she was "fearless" and tore away "contradictions" of "politeness." The outer romance of anothers isn't the poetry Plath had written. Ariel began with love and ended in Spring. A secret of what's good for me is good for everyone. If I love someone and that someone's best for me, then it's best for everyone that I love who's best for me. The thesis seems to me to glide across and through the muck and mud of poetic subjects. Her will that had led to her tragic circumstances of her death then challenge that thesis. People assume because she died her art must have been a celebration of futility. But it wasn't. Her life continued in other ways and only by knowing the hope of eternal life can someone understand her work. Her work does represent a choice for the reader and how one chooses to view her work as limited and hopeless like Robert Lowell suggested or not. It's almost the real secret is if you believe the critics then you're fucked. Critics were trying to shape the romance to fit the type of narratives that were convenient. One could read him more generously and presume that the hypothesis that "life even when disciplined just isn't worth it" is just a statement on how being too academic can tyrannize one's life, and that is her tragedy, being too academic. But that's not typically the confirmation bias of one who trusts critics. People have tended to look to critics to decide for them what to enjoy and what not too. And that's foolish. A true poet can see life and choose life. For me, even as a critic, I see Plath's work as a will to survive and to love on her own terms in spite of what destiny had imposed on her. THe complacency of fate and the cynisism of those in her day might have been incapable of knowing. It seems to me most people have a tendency to think the world doesn't exist outside of their self esteem, like children who think that a parent out of site ceased to exist. Like art, Sylvia exists outside of what critics thought of themselves and what the reader would like, but an artist tends to turn invisible outside of what others like or don't like. Salvation I suspect is the same way. People tend to not like salvation because they're often just not already saved. It's outside their self esteem and so tend to never reach for it. Integrity is the way and I asked God for integrity so that I wouldn't just be a reflection of sickness. Studying one artist well and living live as an artist put me beyond self esteem and into the ability to relate to reality. I would suggest knowing one or two particular artists to this degree of intimacy. It's the way of life.

To be like Saint Francis

I sit here like a man who wants to be an ethical infant. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s better than the urge to be some tyrant of an adult. I walk in to my own life and I just looked at the roses I planted next to Saint Francis. I hadn’t watered the roses in a while because it’s rained quite nice the last few days. There seems to be some plants that just like to dance. A naïve dance into a type of oblivion is the non-temptation to govern air. Instead of teaching, I’m willing to be taught. Instead of fighting to be heard, I’m willing to listen. There’s no need as the gaps always seem appropriate and my intuition is always correct when to speak and when not to speak. This is the humility that many adults seem to consider to be infantile.

Journal poetry

It does seem to me that my life is a bit of a standstill. I have a lot of hopes and dreams. A lot of beautiful pictures. And yet here I am going to work every day. I make small progress here and there. The small seems to be something. It seems sometimes hard for me to do simple things that others take for granted. And yet today at least I keep this part to myself because self pity is no appeal or substitute for coherence. Often others just want a reason in the form of a person to blame. I am here today and yesterday seemed perfect and today may not to someone and that often seems the stupidity of being human. There often just is no reason at all. There’s only cause and effect and adaptation. I do my best to emulate God to be that benevolent adaptation to an uncaring universe of cause and effect by humbly preserving myself first. I can trust that if I’m good to myself it’s good for everyone. That acceptance is more humble than pretending to do what’s best for everyone and pretending to be a separate remote control. That’s the stupid method of people who want to use God as an excuse to pretend to be humble while trying to control everything. That’s not humble. I can only know what’s good for myself and if I’m good to me then by accident, if the divine has any relevance at all to anyone then it doesn’t need any selfish managing of others. I was going to keep this particular post private but some confessionals seem relevant so I posted it anyway.

My life

As a young boy all I wanted was to have a normal life. I wanted a normal mother and father and friends. And I had all those things. But then it had gotten ripped apart. I fell into abusive situations, my mom retreated into religion, my dad retreated into self pity, and for the most part, I was on my own. It felt like the earth was going to rip open and hell itself was going to swallow me whole for no reason at all, except for the fact that I was born. It was easy enough to wish I was never born for that reason. But then existence parted and I fell into the garden of Eden. It's not an experience I wish to validate as much. I just wanted to do what I had to and get back my normal life. There's something to me about the divine that's always felt imposing oppressive and evil. But I've also noticed that even God felt that way. I could write something beautiful about this but my ethical metric has always been to bridge the divine and the normal together in myself. I've always felt like a normal person and it's always felt like the divine was always trying to steal that from me. But I've also noticed how others felt that way too. I've also noticed how trying to interpret others work as anything other than observations about my own life rather than excuses to try to interfere with my life is inexcusable. I've always worked to just hold myself together not take from others. God has also had the same attitude as me I've noticed. I sense he has a will to be normal just like me. And so there's something impersonal and non plan like about the way the universe works. God is an adaptation to an uncaring universe, not a creator of a malevolent universe. God is a benevolent adaptation not a malevolent creator. And so I stay sane by accepting the beauty of the divine. There's no other way really, while incorporporating that into my normal life.

Poetry of Sylvia Plath to aspire.

https://youtu.be/CqIhR4QIweQ To me her poetry is someone so intimate with her own experience that even dull experiences have beauty romance and nuance. The natural layers of experience naturally have layered application because existence itself is layered and so good poetry like hers caused me to fall in love with life and aspire in my own way to reach that same level of intimacy with life itself. I fell in love with ber because of that. For the first few years I had to learn how to write and to avoid bad writing by rewriting and refining but now and people have witnessed this Ive written perfect poetry in like 15 minutes or even in a space of 30-90 seconds when im focused. I still have to rewrite sometimes because im still human but there is a level of poetic perfect consciousness that has that immediate practiced perfection. Its a type of God consciousness that is perfect and logical that isnt possession as much as its simply being possessed by a type of perfection of life. From Sylvia I learned from experience how devotion to a partner whole heartedly into the ideal of a person ive been able to reach my own ideal while protecting myself from dissolutionment. If someone is incompatible with me doesnt rob me of being able to aspire to the ideal of that person's best version of themselves to enrich who i already am. Everything in someone is only a part of the logic of me anyway if that person's logic is available to me and in that possession doesnt exist because every ideal is only a part of the grrater foundation of a complete person. No ideal is incompatible with another. There are no incoherent ideals, only incoherent people. In Ted Hughes my hypothesis is she blamed the divine ideal for robbing Ted of his humanity and in her perfect poetic humanity went to war against divine Ted to restore human Ted. The after affect of that isolated him from poetry sadly but made him into a good father and family man. In my own heartbreak I went against some of the divine aspects of God to restore God's humanity by celebrating my own common experiences and pain and love in such a manner as to make the divine irrelevant because common experiences are divine in themselves. And yet eventually i found i fell in love with some divine aspects and eventually included goddesses out of compassion so that my anger never excluded people or gods for the sake of worshipping principles too much at the expense of my principles. My own critique of Sylvia's poetry is something she made herself. Her work as toi focused on making a name for herself and not enough of just being enfatuated with self chosen experiences. Her misery seemed chosen for her and so my poetry has a more masculine tone I hope translates into me chosing my own experiences in an ethical and responsible manner. If my personal poetry has a thesis itsthet root of evil is to have others choose your experiences for you and that poetry is a doorway to a self lived life.

Coffee hopes and dreams

I came from a funeral. And Sassy reminded me of an English teacher. I went into a coffee shop and got coffee. The coffee was from a Keurig. I noted to the attendent that I'm glad there's regular coffee even if it is Italian. We laughed and it seemed like common sense to be grateful to not have coffee sitting for four hours. It saves him the mess of cleanup and the public the disappointment in old coffee. Though sometimes I've enjoyed another coffee shop where the coffee was cheaper and I got a discount for old coffee. Everything has a different relationship Sassy. That's why jealousy makes no sense and why Marriage tends to be delusional. I didn't want cream in my coffee. I have to make room for real blessings and not pretend ones. I like my coffee sugar no cream sometimes, unless I'm feeling sentimental on some occassions. And life goes on. This you and I both know. But I can't force life to be what I want, but I can allow my God given integrity be my own doorman. Pour cream or don't, life tends to go on either way.

Rest and happiness

There seems to be quite a like garden roses today. What I can tell is a nice day to free time with life for me. Something that may have been something yesterday is still And better today. Just because I have been given a gift of life and rest. I love my friends and yet I don’t need any friends even if I had no friends. Because to acknowledge a need and to demand a need be met is not what a friend does. And so someone who needs no one but knows how to ask for help is the best friend a person can be. And friends don’t test other people’s friendship because that’s not what friends do and so I always ignore tests. There’s a bit of practical side but I love beauty sometimes more than just to sound practical. That’s why just hanging out is really nice.