Charm as a virtue of self respect

A person can shape how a person and society treats them by having integrity and having social intuition. Not feelings. Feelings are the below the surface ocean. Charm is the ability to act above feelings and make yourself and others feel good. Charm only comes from self respect. Knowing how to manage ones personal boundaries through communication. Charm is assertive and pleasant at the same time. Charm can say no and be selfish and make others feel good at the same time. The problem with only feelings is that its only defensive and fundamentally ignorant. That's why charm makes life easier. It gives opportunity to keep your word and do good as well. No one likes to be left hanging so I suggest not using charm to trick anyone. But people forgive people who do their best and fail and people love people who do their best and succeed. Life is easier with charm. Charm is grace that you give yourself apart from but in harmony with God's grace. Charm is the language of ambition and gives one room to learn and grow and survive and make life pleasant for yourself and others. Charm isn't the same as people pleasing. People pleasing only guesses what makes people feel good and then expects without communicating. Charm is gotten through grit and deep familiarity with ones self and others. Charm respects the limitations of others just as i have mercy on my own limitations I have mercy for the limitations of others. Charm and mercy speak the same language. People pleasing secretly hates herself and others and by virtue of personality would prefer everything burn with judgement because of her resentment. Charm is mercy and brings mercy for him or herself and others.