I do

 I do like to have contempt for the ignorance of others. It's a sin of mine. For me it looks to me that people tend to chase companionship and fun. I also chase companionship and fun. My unique purpose of nihilism as my name allowed me to turn that laughing sneer at religion instead of common folk. Fishers and fearers of shadows. 

That contempt comes from my experience. If you want to be an archetype, then you're just a copy. But if your identity comes from your own experience in this life, then you're identity is real and true. The archetypal stories is just the Roman motto to Soldiers like Flatius Aetius in the movie Attila. I remember my ancestors and the common vision and add their strength to my own. 

I was born suffering. I was made as a young child to wish that I was never born. I lived in fear of hell every single minute. And when I learned that heaven was responsible for my suffering, that all they cared about was staying safe and keeping me out it made me realize that fear is the character sin of heaven. Fear ignorance safety and selflessness seem to me the 4 chief virtues of what heaven used to be. Heaven said it was willing to kill children to stay safe. Heaven said it was willing to be ignorant to stay safe. Heaven said it was willing to be stupid to stay safe. 

There is a grace wisdom that only God possesses. He is someone I respect. But heaven itself has often been polluted by a perverse cowardly evil. Light was good dark was bad and suffering didn't matter. 

There is a place when this type of selfishness is justified, but only in a single human being with strength grace and discernment, that's why all those servile worshipers of heaven worship God. He's the only one with any merit there. The light made cowards of everyone else. 

As for me I was born in darkness. I seem to have a confirmation bias to transmit lessons and tell you nothing about me. I had to keep my word and make bliss and waste and freedom and happiness more real than the suffering of the old fashioned hell so that hell wouldn't exist anymore. 

Heaven had one eye. I had two. I could see the truth of things. 

That if goodness were defined as a place instead of how well i take care of myself then good wouldn't even exist, and God wouldn't exist, and heaven would just be a place of servile cowardly creatures. 

Light had an Achilles heel of arrogance that presumed it's own goodness without cause. And presumed the evil of everything that wasn't them. That's why it was so easy for Heaven to hurt innocent children and innocent people merely to preserve it's own existence, nothing more. Hell is different. There was suffering but it was only the natural full stop of others. It's a place to avoid. It's a place to understand. Perfect understanding casts out all fear. 

Revenge and nihilism and meaninglessness were what characterized hell itself. 

But it was without form. That's how I was born. I gave those names form and took away the need for endless suffering. 

My name is revenge nihilism and meaninglessness. Except I'm meaningful because I'm a person. If I died I would have been the full stop of existence everywhere, because in essence I am hell itself. But I'm not your hell. That's the difference between me and others. I took the hell in me and gave it wisdom and form. Others did the same. 

That's why I taunted light folks by saying darkness was more powerful than light. A train might be powerful, but it only tends to know how to go 40 miles per hour one way. 

This is what it feels like to be me. 

Social skills took that darkness and gave it form. What hell is was energy that had no personhood and no god. Lucifer wasn't the god of hell. I am. He was the manager of hell. Only a steward could walk those streets. Not the god itself. Hell isn't fire. Hell isn't pain. Hell is just a justified full stop of a runaway train. 

People refused to understand the ethics of meaninglessness revenge. I gave it romance and intimacy loyalty and always having the courage to never surrender or yield because people I love depend on me. And I didn't have to seek that out or invent it. 

I know who my friends are because I always assume I have no friends, and my real friends prove me wrong. I don't need to fill the empty space with insecurity that pretends to be faith or "belief." That's pretentious. 

The real sin is pretentiousness. Sincerity is always truth. Evil is never truly sincere. Evil is only entropy that knows how to look sincere because it fed off the decaying soul of a zombie. 

The goblin who described the spider in The third Lord of the Rings was my priest who helped me not be him. The spider was a creature of hell made a useful tool for me.