A healthy romantic relationship with a woman

 A lot of couples seem to fetishize trauma. Pain, wounds and relationship to ones pain and wounds. 

It's good to fall in love with a persons mind first. That's a good sign for a sense of responsibility.  

But that doesn't imply anything but air. 

The first thing would be a woman who likes touch. The intellectual stuff often goes out the door compared to whether people can make each other feel good or not. There's s cliche that says "love the person not how they make you feel" but thats just codependency and shifts the problem of selfish worship to another problem and thats fear of abandonment and codependency. 

No one can truly love another person. A person can only love themselves. People can come and go but you'll be the one stuck in youre own self forever. 

What people have in common are mutual vibrations and common admiration for similar aesthetics and a near identical innocence and hopefully the skills to create a dual world that's loving for both people involved. 

Affection and unconditional love in moments where mutual understanding is real love. The other stuff is just responsibility to keep love alive. 

But moments of real love where the world is simple and still and two adults notice and appreciate each other. 

Thats a simplicity that has nothing to do with complicated poetry or gardens or mutual history. Ive hung out with a woman before in different ways and its simple moments of perfect beauty and perfect emotional love and connectedness that is love. 

Thats what drives people to want love. Those moments of perfect innocence and perfect understanding like cuddling with a significant other and listening to crickets outside and being comforted just by each others presence without having to say anything. 

That's love. 

The actions that cherish those feelings is discernment and responsibility and adventure. 

All those things are good but highly over rated compared to perfect moments with loved ones. 

Or a romantic partner especially. When love makes clear that a perfect moment makes a tomorrow agenda clearly petty. 

Thats love. Thats what i want. 

Fetishizing intelligence or sexuality is nothing compared to this type of innocence. 

People have tended to cheat themselves out of it by distractions involving meaning and pain or pleasure and just miss this by trying to be smart or meaningful. Im entertained by intellectualism, but compared to love and perfect moments meaning is pointless.