It's if she attaches expectations beyond the pleasure of the sexual experience.
If the logic was "I fucked him therefore he should" then you would be attaching an expectation to a man that isnt his responsibility to fulfill.
Self respect consideration and love are qualities a good man would have anyway. Respect for you as a person wouldn't be an expression of sexual conquest. It would just be who he is by nature.
If you're an honest woman who wants to feel loved then you should learn to create happiness and innocence from the sexual experience and don't try to make babies that you didn't consult the man about.
That would create a stillness and a sense of calm serenity and safety without expectation or nosiness into the other person's business when you're not hanging out with him.
Instead of trying to find a man to control, it would be better spent having a sex buddy to co create a sexual happiness union with.
Sex doesn't imply monogamy or any other expectation thats carried outside the bedroom.
Just because a person is skilled at sex doesnt mean that their capable of commitment.
And just because you might want a partner to save sex for a committed relationship doesnt mean you should.
Saving sex for a relationship would be the assumption that sex is the relationship. Its not.
Communication and the ability to work out problems and being able to do what you say youll do are better indicators of relationship success than good sex. Good sex is part of any healthy relationship but thats just part of the bargaining process.
Dr. Peterson argued that forcing people to stay together with marriage helps people to work out their issues. A plausible theory but it's wrong actually. The grace of God is the union of man and woman with commonalities of grace that only God could identify and bless. These types of unions arent always linear and dont necessarily mean that God actually demands anything of the partners except to stay in grace. That doesn't imply necessarily that those two people stay together in 3d terms.
Sex is another form of grace that God blesses sometimes. Jesus once said in the bible that in the kingdom of God people will neither marry nor be given in marriage. The wholeness of a person does tend to make marriage as an institution obsolete as grace tends to be a forward moving thing. An institution is about the expectation of human beings but grace is the union of man and woman with the wisdom and life of Godly breath that breathed life into that union for eternity.
Happiness and union and the life skills that come with that.
Premarital sex is an empowering aspect of liberation. It makes marriage about mutual respect and love and not about sexual confinement.
As soon a couple made the question "did you fuck someone when i wasnt around" the foundation of your relationship then that relationship was over before it started.
As soon as the goal of a woman was to sexually defeat a man's masculinity the goal of marriage that marriage was toxic before it began, even if that marriage lasts a long time, its not a relationship worth wanting. I sure as hell don't want a woman who just wants to defeat me. That's a woman who doesn't know what a quality relationship is.
Some people think that people choose people based on the quality of a person but they don't. Or at least I dont. The quality of you as a person isnt representative of the quality of the relationship youre offering.
I've rejected a lot of high quality women because what they offered wasnt high quality for me. Or for them for that matter. Most of that had to do with timing. If you were on a collision course with me then that's what I rejected. Freedom is the highest value. Even more than love. Love isnt something that one negotiates for. That's actually a given when a person falls in love with another. Freedom is the space that allows love to last. Freedom requires and demands successful negotiation. If you truly love someone you want them to be as free and happy as possible and youd want the same for yourself.
That's how I instantly and justifiably reject relationships that began with " we have to because society." Thats pretentious and doesn't do society any favors.
Sex always comes with risks and potential mistakes. A bad marriage is just as risky for raising a child as a single parent household often. One of the potential consequences of sex is the potential for procreation, sexually transmitted diseases, potential emotional bonding with someone that you werent ready to process or understand.
Sex is about communion with life, not the other person. To make it about the other person would put them way above your head. It's an experience two people share that worships life in an impersonal celebratory way. Out of respect for any potential sexual partner I wouldn't objectify her by trying to make her an object of sexual worship.
The only thing anyone can take with them is the feeling. The feeling of pleasure safety and contentment. But the responsibility for my own well being is mine. Sex doesn't change that.
When someone cheats on someone else it makes that fact real again. When a partner I was with at the time was cheating on me i was in relationship jail and couldnt do anything about it, but I observed how one time a man helped her with something and it created a sexual impulse in her.
Later I observed that with women when cared for in certain types of ways tend to become sexually led through imprintal arousal. if i did this or that for a woman like buy her a sandwich when she had a fight with her boyfriend or helped with school she became sexually bonded in a way that she couldn't help.
But it did create a light response that led to womb like energy when one woman knew what she was doing and used that energy to make a happy life for me and my friends without demanding anything from me in return.
It took a woman out of McDonald's and got her a better job that I was only working at temporarily at the time and she told me later it made her boyfriend less self absorbed and more attentive to her as a person.
All of this had nothing to do with marriage. Its grace that can't be dictated by idolatrous institutions that tend to try to compete with God's grace.
Sexuality is different than falling in love, although it can cause two people to fall in love. The behavior is a choice that creates imprints that causes bonding. I can do this consciously.
Its why I don't talk to children.
Falling in love doesnt mean that two people should be together or even have a sexual relationship. It can come just by talking to another person and make environments more pleasant and gracious. The in love feeling doesnt actually make anyone do anything. That's the gravitational room that was shrinking. Love didn't do that to you. Love found a pathway for you so that you didnt die.
Rooms shrink when people arent justified in their own humanity and when a collection of people weren't justified as human beings. Love creates pathways and solutions to those problems.
People tend to like to be complacent and ignore problems and love is like a friend telling an alcoholic that their habits were killing them and then the alcoholic blaming the friend for their alcoholism.
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