Antony and Cleopatra: A past life recovery

 In my life as Cleopatra I discovered I fell for my own con. As a woman I found that every man was susceptible to the chaos of love and that nothing mattered. 

Rome had one distinct advantage. Rome had smart women who raised smart men. 

If one watched the Rome series the portrayal of Octavian being raised by his mother was accurate. 

Duty was just as nihilistically good to woman's true role as protector of the family than my ambition. 

In terms of nation, the present is always more pertinent than the past. The present is just as mythologically significant as anything that happened in the past. When Antony and I identified as gods of the past we represented ourselves as a past order that no longer was relevant. 

Augustus and Caesar were living gods of the present. Being present is being good and responsible to one's people and family of the present, and not being lost in the ghosts and illusions of the past. 

Practical Rome was more spiritual than spiritual Egypt precisely for it's pragmatism. 

Sometimes women have vibed on my spirit trying to be what I was when at best my past life was only a partial success and proof of what women don't necessarily want to hear, and that's without masculinity I am only at best a suicidal success when I'm only a woman. 

That means the attempt at seduction and ambition without men or masculinity is a past life lesson already learned. 

Many women were trying to be what I proved to the universe was impossible. 

That ruling the universe is impossible because trying to be a ruler of chaos is so fucking stupid. Chaos can't be ruled. It can only be tamed as a traveler. It's why I died. So my energy could travel. 

It's why I appeared as entirely myself 2000 years later as a man, because I couldn't be who I was as a woman. I would have been trapped the same way, and so couldn't be born a woman. 

But since my cycle of wisdom as a woman was full and complete and hadn't been capable of being shared in it's completeness until now meant I couldn't give the wisdom of womanhood up even as a man. Womanhood chaotic wisdom had to be shared as a man. 

Woman have been identifying as me so as to reject the idea of being a ruler even as society demanded that they be a ruler. They could gain wisdom by pretending and be more free as a consequence. 

Thus proving that trying to be something you're not is a path to being more of what you already are. 

I love wisdoms like that. 

But for men I suggest if you don't want to be vulnerable to being drawn to women who represent chaotic love that represents ecstacy and release before you're ready, then be at one with the chaotic element of nature already around you with the knowledge that chaos is inescapable. 

A normal mind is perfectly equipped for taming chaos as a normal human. It's how human's evolved. 

That implies that a magician is often nothing more than a crippled human who doesn't know the difference between themselves and nature.