The ethical premise of nihilism isnt that ethics doesn't exist. It's that if ethics exists and if one knew ethics existed people wouldnt debate the utilitarian nature of ethics itself. It exists whether someone understands it or not. A brute fact, like trip wire for ignorant or foolish people.
But the feeling of nihilism is entirely different. The highest form of ethical nihilism is personal wholeness that reflects the highest ethical form of myself that current nature allows for me.
After that, its clear that any energy not invested in myself is wasted imposition in futile demands of others.
That means that most of life isn't about solving this or that. Its just going to work, getting along with coworkers and nurturing my garden and making my life as beautiful and friendly as possible.
The ache of not having a close romantic mate is there, but that ache cant be solved by any action on my part except to be willing to accept such a blessing, if that blessing ever happened.
The sadness of loneliness and inability to change the world in the way I might morally prefer is an oscillation of sadness happiness loneliness and just solitude, mostly. When the world was so wrong that it threatened my heart space it might have looked like I was the delusional idealist that wanted to change the world, but that was just me not letting the world fall on my head, so i melted it and help bring it back to health instead just to survive.
If i didn't have to do that i would be happy just living for food fun and fornication, because aside from what the world needs from me there's really nothing else to life that i can add to it. Nature adds to me by giving me beauty that i can never pay back. But that's not who i am. Thats just me being blessed for not dying.
All anyone can do is not die. Jim Carrey and Jerry Seinfeld got that right. Some are rewarded for living and some are punished for living, but there is no reason why some suffer and some don't. There's no fairness in the distribution and it's a problem thats actually impossible to fix.
The best thing anyone can do is just be the most free version of yourself you can be. After that you cant do anything or change anything or affect anything at all. And there's no reason its that way.
That's just a brute fact.
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