The difference between me and others is that others see damage and they want to control or fix it, but i can see that the damage is connected to a plate movement and is unfixable, at least I can't fix it. So i can either be discouraged or see the beauty in the damage. How that puzzle piece fits another puzzle piece thats missing and the grief associated with that.
That life is fundamentally and unfixably unfair and that its beautiful to recognize that. Because then I know my own limits. That there's only so healed that I can actually get. Ive achieved my own sense of temporary maximal healing a few times in my life. Then once i see what's missing and the border i can recognize its unfairness and that to some degrees everyone has something missing. That grief and pain is something in everyone to varying degrees. If one is in denial of that the pain looks ugly on a person. If one is at one's maximal potential that pain can look beautiful on a person.
But there is no ceiling ultimately. One just knows when to grow and when its time for walking.
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