Friends companions lovers and acquaintances: I have a preference for Trees and Flowers like a Pixie

Love Logic

 I walked to a bit part in a fall flower. 

I left my milk at home just for a moment. 

I'll get back to that when I get back home before work. 

A subway sandwhich isn't always the cheapest.

The chip for the day isn't always what goes with a six inch. 

I walked by a moment with the trees for a moment.

Though I am a man, when I'm called a tree pixie I seem to giggle with happy memories. 

When I'm called a goddess it still seems to ring true. 

And yet if you saw me I'd be the ugliest woman you've ever seen, except for some strange inner beauty. 

The only thing that makes me womanly is that I refused to be a man when I was told to transition to maleness when I was born. 

That made Lilith a tutor. But she's not my mother. It also made Lilith a student of mine. 

Because her activation meant that I knew something she didn't know. Na na na na na na. 

Happy Joker Style. HJS has no vowels inside, but perhaps that's where true friends are supposed to fit in. 

H                                                  J                                                      S. 

I discovered that what true jealousy between lovers is when one dismisses the values of another. 

That's where that contempt comes from. It's not petty necessarily, as long as one doesn't treat that awareness as petty.

For example, a woman lying to another woman and calling her her "boss" does arouse a bit of contempt for me, because I use cleverness to provide my own rest, not dependency. 

I'm not addicted to the false rest of comfortable slavery. I guess that's the passion that tells me I'm better than you in that moment. 

It's not just ego. It's a deep soul repulsion at a perceived stupidity. Passion that communicates a deeper awareness.

Those who are light addicted tend not to know the difference between passion and ego.

Because to them, they're all ego blobs of God-slaves who think their humble but actually just stupid and self absorbed. 

The hatred is love awareness that knows that these people can do better and have had a hard time. 

Learn how to read between the lines and stop bothering me for every little thing. 

Right now I have trees and flowers and little happy walks between the H and the J and the S. 

Not a real human friend among them.

I have lovers who seem more like distant acquaintances and friends who are more like distant friendly business partners.

But not a true companion among them.